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Weird Science

4.9 Future Brides

Wyatt has a series of really bad dates and tells Lisa he wishes he could just skip all that and find out who his wife will be. She creates an electronic device -- the Bride Tracker -- to "find" his future wife. He's elated that his wife-to-be in the coffee shop, so he goes to flirt with her.

Meanwhile, Chett declares his feelings to Lisa. "Some of us don't have to play the field. Some of us already have our smart bombs targeted on the fortified bunker of love." Lisa asks, "Am I supposed to be the bunker?" He nods and she zaps him away.

But Chett is not to be deterred. He finds the Bride Tracker, reads the manual and makes a few adjustments so that when he turns it on, it reads Lisa as his future bride. Lisa secretly knows what he's done, but she decides to torture him instead of telling him. So she starts asking him to do things for her - make her food and waiting on her. He seems willing to do anything to convince her they're right for each other. (He's really quite adorable while doing this, I have to say.)

At one point, he comes out of the shower and strips his towel off in front of Lisa. (Is it me or does Lee spend a lot of time naked on this show? It's like Oz without the full frontal.) Lisa asks him what the hell he's doing and he tells her they might as well get used to be naked in front of each other. She nods along and says she wants to reveal herself to him, too, so she "takes off her make-up" and looks like a green, scaly monster. Chett is a little frightened but suggests maybe some light foundation.

Meanwhile, Wyatt is pulling out all the stops for his new girlfriend. He's going so far that he's driving her nuts with all his romantic talk of the future. He's practically stalking her. She starts flirting with other guys.

Lisa informs Chett that he has to train for the wedding night because making love with a genie is very dangerous because of all the heat they radiate during sex. She starts talking tough to him, giving him orders like an army officer. Chett says, "I am *so* turned on right now."

Next, we see her stuffing him into a barrel and rolling him over the edge of the roof. He crashes and comes out a little dizzy. Then she drops a watermelon on his head. He still won't give up.

Then Lisa puts him in a see-through hazard suit. Lisa is lounging on the bed in lingerie. She tells Chett to come in slowly and turns the heat up really high. He's burning up, but he won't stop coming. The computer warns her that it's too hot for human conditions, but still Chett keeps coming even though he looks like he's about to pass out. Lisa asks him, "Are you crazy? Does it mean that much to you?" He nods. She says, "Well, nobody can say you didn't earn it."

Then he nods out, causing Lisa to lament, "Men!"
 

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The Chett Quotient:

Chett Guh Factor: 8
Chett Intensity: 7
Chett Humor: 10