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Weird Science

4.11 I, Chettus

The guys come to school and find everyone in togas. They blame Lisa and she tells him she sent Chett back to ancient Rome. He’s altered history so the boys have to go back and figure out what he did wrong. Turns out he’s completely contaminated the time period with lots of modern things, including his jeep, a beer hat and many other things.

When Chett sees them, he says, “I’m not going back. I’m Chettus Maximus, bringer of magic and wonder. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wet toga contest to judge.”

The guys do their best to gather up all the items Chett brought with him. They use the guise of magic beans to trade for things. Meanwhile, the ancient rebellion thinks Chett is dangerous and must be stopped. He is brought before the emperor, Timidius, who’s rather wimpy. Chett gives the emperor pork rinds and wins his favor. The rebellion is not happy. One of the members, a woman named Audacious, offers her body for seduction of Chett.

Soon, Lisa and the guys are caught when the magic beans don’t work and they’re thrown in jail. Lisa can’t get them out because there’s no electricity to power her magic. 

Chett gets on the high council, and enters to a cheering crowd. Audacious plots to have the crowd turn against him, so that Timidius will have him killed and the rebellion will flourish.

She tells Chett that there’s only one thing missing from his happy life. “You in a hot tub, wearing a pita bikini?” he asks. She gives him pop rocks and convinces him to give them to Timidius. He eats them and starts to foam at the mouth. Chett gives him soda and it gets worse. They think he’s trying to kill the emperor and he’s thrown in jail too. He’s sentenced to death by jeep, but it runs out of gas and Timidius must fight Chett hand-to-hand. Chett wants to fight and the emperor commutes his sentence to community service. 

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The Chett Quotient:

Chett Guh Factor: 7
Chett Intensity: 10
Chett Humor: 9